Up Close and Personal: Meet Elaine

Hello everyone, welcome back to another edition of Up Close and Personal — where we get to know some amazing people a little better.

Today, I’ve got a young lady in the hot seat — say hello to Elaine! A big shout out to her for getting back to me super quickly and jumping straight in. No warm-up for this one… it’s a cold start!

Before we begin, I just want to say — I hope you’re all well and good and making the most of this hot weather we’ve been having here in the UK. It’s been a scorcher! And a gentle reminder: if you’re on any antidepressants or anxiety meds, please make sure you’re drinking plenty of water — stay safe and stay cool.

Right then — let’s jump into it and hear what Elaine has to say…

Question 1:
When you lived on the estate at Halloween 🎃, I remember the kids would always say, “Have you been to the house that’s doing hotdogs?” What made you decide to start giving out hotdogs? I bet some of those kids are grown up now and still remember it!

1)Ahh i love that you remember my hotdogs.. Yes i was known as the hotdog lady. The reason I did that was it was freezing some halloweens and also the kiddies were straight home from school, get dressed up and put again… I used to think what would my boys like if they were calling. I’m sure it would a hot snack, be it a soup or like me a hotdog. It just bridges that gap before their tea or supper in most cases.. I’ve always had the lesson drummed in to me by my dad that there are some people less fortunate than yourself and if you can just help in any way to then smile the gratitude you feel for doing that comes back tenfold. If I saw a homeless person selling their big issue, I used to buy them a tuna mayo sandwich and a warm drink instead of giving them money.. Everyone gets hungry so it won’t be wasted.. It’s nice to do something nice.. No matter how small.. To them you may have just made their day.

Question 2:
I know you tragically lost your son in a car crash, and I hope you don’t mind me asking this… but how did you manage to get through the grief? I remember you saying that your job wasn’t supportive at all during that time, and I know me, you, and my partner have talked about it before.

2).
You never get over grief.. But you do learn to live with it.. I cried every day for 11 months then one day I realised I hadn’t cried that day. People behave differently to you at first.. Almost avoiding you so not to upset you but to the person who is grieving it matters more that people talk to you.. Even just the words I’m sorry.. That way you acknowledge the fact that the person they lost meant so much to you.. My workplace wasn’t sympathetic. And to be honest with you I didn’t care about that. It went straight over my head. After all you’d just been dealt the worse possible blow nothing was going to hit me as hard.. So i kept off work until one day my doctor said you can’t be off work forever.. So i changed doctors.. I mean who was he to tell me how I was feeling and whether I was ready to go back.. He didn’t ask me.. I did ask my friends if you see me falling way low then please March me to the doctors.. I never got as low to not want to be here. My son lost his last breath so I in a way wanted to breath for him. He used to always make people smile and so I thought I’m going to help someone and do voluntary work at my own pace.. And hopefully doing that it will help others smile and like I said in question one their smiles helped me smile. It came back to me slowly. I gradually built up what I could do but there were many days I didn’t want to do anything so I didn’t apart from tell myself tomorrow we can try again.. Im still grieving but it is okay.. I do what I can. I’m still a bit funny about people TELLING me to do things they should ASK The way to help is for you to help yourself or others understand it’s OK as long as your doing the best you can at that time.

Question 3:
This one’s a bit silly… I used to love seeing you across the road on Saturday mornings after I’d been out the night before, just waiting for my grandparents to wake up so I could go in. You must’ve thought, “What a dweeb!” Didn’t you?

3) I hope that everyone who comes across me gets their own smile and not a “aw gawd let me avoid her” 😂.
I never thought you as a dweeb or whatever. Don’t get me wrong I’m not always wanting to chat to people I find that hard at times but a friendly wave or a smile is a good way to make people smile back.. And again when they do it back to you it makes you feel good..

I just want to say a big thank you for taking the time to answer these questions and for being part of the Up Close and Personal series — it really means a lot.

Also, thank you to everyone for the support you show me and my blogs. It never goes unnoticed and is always appreciated.

Wishing you a great rest of the week and an awesome weekend ahead! Thanks for reading — and if I don’t see you in the next one, take care!