Hey everyone! Hope you’re all doing well.
Hasn’t the weather been amazing this week in the U.K.? I’m not sure what it’s like in the rest of the world, but yesterday I was out doing some weeding around 9am—and even in the shade, it was boiling!

I hope you’ve all had a good week so far.

For today’s blog post, I’m doing something a little different. I’ve had an amazing couple answer a set of questions separately, and I can’t wait for you to read what they had to say. I hope you don’t mind this new format—let me know what you think!

QUESTION1. First of all Dan, one question that I’m sure you’ve been asked a lot of times.  You found love after a  traumatic event in your life, how do you survive that an then find love?.

Surviving 7/7 was a combination of incredibly brave people, hugely talented medical teams and an inner desire to live.  It’s one of those strange situations that when you honestly believe you are going to die, something inside kicks in.  It’s amazing what the human body will do to fight to stay alive. Most people are lucky that their bodies never face that fight in such horrendous circumstances. Finding love I would say it’s more like it found us.  A mistake on Facebook,  Gem friend requested me by accident has led to us being married ten years this year.

Question2. My partner and I both lost our fur baby last year, and are still grieving.  I know people without fur babies don’t understand the grief we go through, and you also have recently lost your fur babies, how do you handle your grief from a beloved family member? 

Dan: Unless you have experienced the loss of a fur baby, people won’t understand, they say oh it’s just a pet, no they are family, and the pain is unbearable at times.  We get through each day accepting that there are two cat shaped holes in our hearts that will never heal. We take comfort in the love and safety we gave them and the love they showed us, but sometimes the sense of loss can stop you in your tracks, and the smallest thing can bring tears to your eyes. Again, unless people experience it, it is very hard to understand.  We miss our fur babies so much every day, they helped me so much with my phantom pain and my complex PTSD, they became emotional support animals for me.

Gem: I’m so sorry for your loss, we know only too well the pain and devastation the loss of a fur baby leaves you with. Personally, I can’t describe how much it’s hurt me to lose two of them exactly three weeks apart. I think it’s important to deal with the grief in your own way, there’s no right or wrong. I often look at pictures and videos of my babies, sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry. Nothing will ever fill the void those beautiful souls left me with.

 Question 3 You and Gems relationship reminds me of mine.  We use humour a lot to get through tough times.  People on the outside might not understand this and think we are being insensitive.   How would you explain how this helps you deal with the daily things you deal with mentally?

Dan: We have a dark sense of humour,  it’s what gets us through the toughest of times.  People may not understand, but then it’s not their trauma,  it’s Gems and mine,  and the humour we have can bring a smile, or a laugh to a situation,  then that helps us push on.  It’s a choice,  we can either laugh or cry, we do a lot of crying, but we laugh more, and that is how we cope.

Humour is a personal thing, we have suffered horrendous things in our lives with 7/7.   I have gone through more pain and distress than anyone should go through in ten lifetimes, and I believe humour has got me through, because we live in a frightening world, where every time you turn the news on it’s war, stabbings and people suffering.  Without humour we would succumb to the madness and darkness in the world.

 Gem:  I’ve always had a pretty dark sense of humour so luckily for Dan I got his straight away! I’ve always said that if people don’t like it, they don’t have to bother with me. I think if you can’t laugh or try to find something funny in dark times you’d just go crazy within negative emotions. Not everyone gets it but that’s ok too.

Question 4. What’s the best advice you’ve ever had or could impart on someone else?

  Dan: . We have a dark sense of humour,  it’s what gets us through the toughest of times.  People may not understand, but then it’s not their trauma,  it’s Gems and mine,  and the humour we have can bring a smile, or a laugh to a situation,  then that helps us push on.  It’s a choice,  we can either laugh or cry, we do a lot of crying, but we laugh more, and that is how we cope.

Humour is a personal thing, we have suffered horrendous things in our lives with 7/7.   I have gone through more pain and distress than anyone should go through in ten lifetimes, and I believe humour has got me through, because we live in a frightening world, where every time you turn the news on it’s war, stabbings and people suffering.  Without humour we would succumb to the madness and darkness in the world.

 Gem: I’m not really one that follows advice, I tend to go on my gut instincts. My advice would be no matter what situation you may find yourself in, there’s always a way. Never ever be ashamed to reach out for help, it’s not weakness but the strongest thing you could ever do and if you are going to be there for someone, shut your mouth and LISTEN!

I just want to say thank you to Dan and Gem for there  great powerful answers and the continued support when I ask them to take part in anything I do so  big thank you.

also a quick thank you to Aaron you has made my new feature image for this series.

Thank you for reading, and if you want to take part, please drop a comment or leave me an email

Thank you for reading have great weekend everyone.