“Johnisms: The Random Stuff I Come Out With!”

Hey everyone! Hope you’re all well and good on this fine new week. I hope your weekend was amazing and you managed to recharge for the days ahead.

So today… I thought I’d talk about something that my partner and her family have fondly (or cheekily) named: “Johnisms.”

What’s a Johnism, you ask?
Well, apparently (and I only half-agree! 😂), it’s the random, funny or slightly confused things I’ve said over the years that have stuck in everyone’s minds. My partner even sent me a list this weekend—and honestly, I’d forgotten half of them! When I read them, I laughed so hard I thought, “Yep… this needs to be a blog post.” So here they are… enjoy the madness!

1. The Dragonfly Dilemma

I was telling my partner about a rare dragonfly in Norfolk/Suffolk that was nearly extinct—but the numbers had grown again.

I said: “I wonder how they know that though…”

Without even thinking, she replied (dead serious):
“Because they tag them on the legs, don’t they?”

For a moment I actually believed her. I nodded and said: “Oh, right…”

Then I saw her face cracking into a grin.

“John… how are they going to tag a dragonfly’s legs!?” 🤣🤣🤣

Touché. You got me.

2. The Two-Headed Swan

One peaceful day, we sat by The Wherry looking over the Broads, having a drink, soaking in the view.

I squinted at the water and said, shocked:
“Oh my God… there’s a two-headed swan!”

Silence.

My partner: “John… that’s two swans swimming close together.” 🤦

Still my personal favourite. I was so convinced.

3. The Medical Mix-Up

Talking about a mate of mine who was unwell, I solemnly said:
“He’s got a pulmonary embolism in his archery.”

Archery. Not artery.

Poor Malcolm. Bless him. 😳🤣

4. The Hot Pink Explosion

We were watching Lucifer one night. A bright pink car blew up in a huge fireball.

Without missing a beat, I casually said:
“Would you call that a hot pink now?”

Gotta admit… that one was actually pretty clever. Even my partner gave me credit for that one. 😂

So there you have it… some of my finest Johnisms.

The Swan one still makes me laugh. I honestly thought it had two heads! 😂

At one time I used to feel a bit embarrassed when I came out with this random stuff—but my partner started calling them “Johnisms” and now… well, I sort of own it!

What about you?
Ever said something totally daft or funny without realising? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to make this a “Laughter Monday” for everyone!

Thanks for reading—and as always, thank you for all the support.
Have a great week ahead, you lovely lot. 😁